Dreams and Regrets

Well it's been 24 hours since I posted that last blog.

Still feeling at bit miffed.

But I'm trying to outdo my anger and devistation etc by dreaming of the lass I want to be with. I know from experience I shouldn't dream as then I wouldn't end up been disappointed.

But what is experience?

To put it one thing I've experienced a lot of things for example...

I know what it's like to be cheated on and lied to, it hurts so badly.

I've had near death experience when I nearly got ran over by a train.

I know what it's like to turn someone down only to regret it later, then try and correct it a few years late only to be turned down myself.

I know what it's like to be dumped and I know what it's like to dump someone, neither are easy.


Life is full of regrets where you wished you done something or your wish you hadn't done that.

One of my main regrets is turning down a girl in high school only to discover it wasn't my friends playing a joke on me. I always wondered what would have happened if I had said yes and had trusted the messenger.

One thing I don't regret is been a kind helpful person who goes out of a way for a friend. I don't regret going out in my car at 10pm at night to search Newcastle to look for a relative of a friend that had gone missing.

I don't regret my dreams as sometimes it's the closest I get to what I really want.

Reasons to be Blue

I don't know where to begin. But I feel like I need to release this before it overwhelms me.

I'm just wondering where I went wrong in my life.

Recently an ex got in touch with me. She asked me to added her on facebook and I though ok she is trying to be friends. So I undeactivated my facebook and looked at her profile to discovered that she was seeing someone the same time she was seeing me, I cannot believe how used I felt. I am devistated about this, I would never consider cheating on someone, but to be found out that I've been cheated on I don't know what to say. I thought it was going to be alright.

When I got with her I was only out a relationship for a month after leaving me last girlfriend as I had a feeling she was cheating me and was only using me because I had money and a car. In the end there was nothing really in comment all we did at the end was go to my house so she could use my internet.

Then before that I was briefly with someone who again cheated on me when she went for a weekend away. Now I'm asking what have I done to deserve shit like this as it has happened twice, possibly 3 times.

All I wanted is a girlfriend who accepts me for who I am and see's past my unusual hobbies of photoing buses and trains. People tell me that I'm such a nice person, helpful and that. But it just doesn't seem to get the girls. I cannot be one of them tough nasty guys who treat their women like shit, it's just not me. They say nice guys finish last and they are right in my opinion.

Sometimes I regretted times I've said no to people, more so in one case. And sometimes I regretted saying yes.


I really wish I could find that cloud with a silver lining.

Something Different

Well Thursday I returned home after been away for 12 days to Scotland. I had plenty of time to reflect on things.

Firstly was to give this blog a good go. So I've renamed it after I was watching TV and Murder She Wrote came on.......then I changed the channel. But I based the name of the blog along the lines of the TV Show name. And at the moment I can see me sitting at the computer typing with piano music playing and then going to solve a murder.

I note the old blog postings are still on here. They will remain. Since the last one where I said I'm now single. It remains the case though I was with someone for a period of a month, but I'm now Single again. Not sure if I'm enjoying it. It has it's plusses and minuses. I miss the companionship and the cuddles etc. But to be honest I wasn't happy wasting my money, mainly because they didn't have disposable income of their own. I rather have someone that had their own car and weren't using me as a taxi.

To be honest, at times I wish I had a pet dog instead (preferably a Labrador). However this has it's Pros and Cons. Some of the Pros is that the dog will love you unconidtionally as long as you feed it and take it for walks. Some of the Cons is that it isn't cheap.

But maybe I will win the lottery then who knows what might happens. I might get a cute labrador that will be waiting for me to come home from wherever I had been and wag it's tail happily as I come through the door then demand I take it for walkies lol.

Alive and Kicking

Just to let my many readers know.............all one of them I think.

I am still alive and kicking. Well alive and travelling shall we say.

A lot of things have happened since I last posted to here.

I broke up with my girlfriend.

I went down to the Thames Valley and visited places like Oxford, Swindon etc.

And I've got another week off work. And today, well Wednesday I went to Barnard Castle then headed over to Redcar.

I'm a bit tired now. But I want to get back into the swing of things with this blog.

A new chapter is starting in my life and I'm moving forward.

Additionally I've learnt one thing. It is not to make plans for you own life. I wasn't planning to start looking for another girlfriend until the summer. By the looks of it, that has started already unintentionally. Ah well, C'est La Vie or what ever they say.

Tata for now
Gazz

Excitement

Oh I cannot wait. I've just got 4 more shifts left to do before I go on my jolly hollies.

Two all day shifts. Then two morning shifts.

Also I didn't get to go to the steam railway on Saturday. The weather was poor. So I sat in my car in Dunston near the Metrocentre and took photos instead.

Time

Tick tock tick tock tick tock.

Been about a week since I've done a blog.

I've just been busy. Working hard as per usual.

Did a update to my Flickr site at the weekend with photos like these 5.

As for the week ahead I plan to have a belated valentines day meal with my girlfriend. And possibly on Saturday we will be going to a steam railway with her nephew.

Also as my holiday looms into glourious view, I'm making some final plans for it.

Oh and I probably be taking a hammer to work if this new system we have doesn't work faster.

Tata for now.

Strong Wind or Wind Up?

I was going to do a blog on Friday that was until when I emailed it, it didn't work. So I thought sod it. Yet to try on my mobile phone yet. But I predict that it's just going to be one long paragraph. Though no one will notice as no one subscribed to my bog blog (HINT HINT). Just click the follow me button down below. Don't worry you won't actually follow me around and end up with me on my travels to Reading. There wouldn't be enough room in my car.

Anyway I'm sat in my room right now with several things I could do. Deciding on what to do is hard though. In the end I decided to do a blog update with a little bit more playing around with photos.

Firstly no doubt people haven't noticed the strong winds over the last week. Trust me, I couldn't ignore them. Especially whilst at work and putting posters up in the external windows. Which was great fun with A1 size sheets of paper and a strong wind. One risk is a poster been blowing away. However none of the poster I had in my hand got blown away, though more annoyingly a poster that I already put into its holder decided to make it's bid of freedom and blew away in a easterly direction. So anyone around the North Tyneside coast should find a poster in their garden I do apologise.

Any enough of me fighting with posters. Now to fight with this blog.

Right from where I am. It seems to have worked. Soup anyone?
Photo taken of the Scottish Art Gallery in Edinburgh.

Right photo number 2. A photo of a start of a sunrise on the Fens in Cambridgeshire on a morning before a large bus rally at Duxford. I had trouble sleeping in the travellodge I was staying at. For some reason I was watching countdown at 4am in the morning.

Third photo and last one is the sunset at Largs in Scotland. One of the best sunsets I've seen.

Anyway have a look at the photos. And click follow button down to the bottom right (Hint hint ;-) )

Tata for now

Testing Times

It's be a few days since posting anything. Just been busy with work amongst other things.

My main point of the blog today is to try and work out adding photos to it. Tomorrow, I shall be updating via email and the weekend, I will try with the mobile phone.

Firstly we will try a photo I took of the 3:50 horse race from Newcastle this afternoon.

Well judging from what I can see. It seemed to have worked. BTW number 2 won the race.

Anyway on to other things.

I've just got told off by my mam for snoozing in my room at 8pm. My aim was to catch up on sleep that I usually lose out on because I have to get up early for work. She claims that I would end up having trouble sleeping tonight. I assure you I won't.

Anyway I'm going to sort out some more photos and back them up onto DVD discs.

Tata for now.

The Price of Fish

Well it's a Sunday night. And I'm trying to think of what to do.

I've uploaded 100 photos to my Flickr site last night (View here - http://www.flickr.com/photos/gjm-photogenic/)

I've watched Top Gear.

Things that I need to do is either caption more photos. Or write letters to arrange visit to Bus Depots. Or plan other parts of my holiday down in the Thames Valley.

Today I was hoping for a lie in today to catch up on some sleep. Alas it didn't happen as I got a phone call the night before asking if I could work, which I did. What turned out to be a busy day, it flew over quite quickly, I'm not sure where the time has gone today.

Anyway I must crack on with other things.

And I bet you wondering what this post has to do with the price of fish. Well Nothing at all LOL.

The Dutch are up to Something and I want to know What

A regular thing I do whilst captioning photos (hang on there's a train coming)......

........sorry about that. Now where was I. Ah yes, whilst captioning photos I'm usually on a website called Railcam. Railcam is a live webcam with sound of a railway level crossing in the Eastern part of the Netherlands. There is usually plenty of action with cars, trains, wagons etc. And oddly whilst watching a train pass. Two cyclists riding their bikes at 0230 in the morning in Holland (It's 0130 in the UK as I write this). BTW it's free too. And once I saw someone slipped over.

There did used to be clips from the past including one where the crossing was stuck in the close position for around 45 minutes with people flouting the law and dangerously going around the barriers. Another is when a truck attempted to turn right onto the crossing. Got stuck, hit a car then nearly get hit by a train.

I hope the link works but here it is again in case it doesn't (http://www.railcam.nl/) - EDIT - the original link didn't work. Mind I haven't worked out how to put photos on yet.

Not much else to say tonight except that it is very cold in my room. Which is a regular occurance which I shall leave for another time to why that is.

Also please follow me on here too by subscribing as if I know I have followers, then I don't feel as if I'm talking to myself. Which people believe is the first sign of Madness, however this is incorrect as I believe the first sign of Madness is Suggs walking up your garden path. (I can hear the groans already.)