Reasons to be Blue

I don't know where to begin. But I feel like I need to release this before it overwhelms me.

I'm just wondering where I went wrong in my life.

Recently an ex got in touch with me. She asked me to added her on facebook and I though ok she is trying to be friends. So I undeactivated my facebook and looked at her profile to discovered that she was seeing someone the same time she was seeing me, I cannot believe how used I felt. I am devistated about this, I would never consider cheating on someone, but to be found out that I've been cheated on I don't know what to say. I thought it was going to be alright.

When I got with her I was only out a relationship for a month after leaving me last girlfriend as I had a feeling she was cheating me and was only using me because I had money and a car. In the end there was nothing really in comment all we did at the end was go to my house so she could use my internet.

Then before that I was briefly with someone who again cheated on me when she went for a weekend away. Now I'm asking what have I done to deserve shit like this as it has happened twice, possibly 3 times.

All I wanted is a girlfriend who accepts me for who I am and see's past my unusual hobbies of photoing buses and trains. People tell me that I'm such a nice person, helpful and that. But it just doesn't seem to get the girls. I cannot be one of them tough nasty guys who treat their women like shit, it's just not me. They say nice guys finish last and they are right in my opinion.

Sometimes I regretted times I've said no to people, more so in one case. And sometimes I regretted saying yes.


I really wish I could find that cloud with a silver lining.